Laura Robson and Johanna Konta

Laura Robson and Johanna Konta

Laura Robson and Johanna Konta were tennis players who played in doubles together for a very long time and were very successful. They were so good that they prompted the attention of the men’s doubles champions. They were very annoyed because all they ever heard was how good the women’s champions were and that some felt that they would beat them in a head to head match up. This began to come up more and more. It started to be brought up in interviews and on social media. Before long there was a bit of a social media teasing match going on. The ladies stated that they would definitely win a head to head match up and it would not even be close. The men became very annoyed. So annoyed that they challenged the ladies to a match. Not only did the ladies accept, but they suggested raising the stakes so there would be a forfeit for the losing team. A messy forfeit was suggested. The men allowed the ladies to choose it. This made them very excited. “Not only will be beat your asses, but we will then cover them in mess as well,” the responded. 

The ladies were looking forward to this. They took great pleasure in choosing a particularly humiliating messy punishment that they imagined they would be carrying out on the guys. There was a match to play, however. The match was quite close throughout. It was very unclear how it would finish until the last set. When the final ball dropped, it was clear that the ladies had fallen short and the men were victorious. The two ladies looked at one another with wide eyes as they knew that what they had planned for the guys was now about to happen to them. The crowd erupted in wild cheering.

One of the broadcasters who called the match came down and spoke. “Well, that was a hard fought match, but the men are our winners today. We all know what that means. The losers are now going to have to face the forfeit. It is a forfeit that they have chosen. Bring it out if you will.” The crowd cheered and laughed as two pillories were wheeled out to centre court along with a cart filled with pies and other containers containing messy substances. The ladies lowered their eyes, knowing how messy and embarrassing this was going to be. “Ball boys, raise the tops for the ladies.” 

Two ball boys opened the tops of the stocks as the two women sheepishly walked over. They were told to get into position. They lowered their necks and wrists into the holes in the pillory. They looked at one another as the tops were lowered and they were both locked into positions. Their backs were bent. Their behinds were high in the air. Their skirts hitched up as a result of their positions. Their head and hands stuck out. The guys were lead to the cart and handed a creamy pie each.

The men approached and held the pies inches from the girls’ helpless faces. They looked down and teased them. They blushed and looked very embarrassed as they awaited the splat that was about to come. They grimaced and looked very annoyed as the guys wound up and smashed the pies into their faces in unison. The arena erupted as the pies smashed into their faces. Creamy pie splatted everywhere as the pies smushed into their faces. They twisted the pies around in their faces, smearing pie around all over their faces. As the pulled away, pie crust sank down from their faces onto the green tennis court below, landing with a splat.  Pie dripped down their faces. They shook their heads as much as they could. 

The men then took two more pies. This time, they went around the other side of the pillory and lifted the ladies’ skirts. They then slammed the pies into the women’s backsides. The women bounced in shock as the pies collided with their rear ends. Pie rolled down the backs of their legs. 

The men then went and grabbed buckets that were filled with spaghetti hoops. The women looked up and them and begged them not to do this. The guys teased them. They held the buckets over their prone bodies. They looked at one another as they tipped the buckets over each of the ladies. Spaghetti hoops fell with a plop all over them. It poured down their backs, dripping from their chests. More poured down onto their heads and over their faces. More spaghetti hoops poured down the backs of their legs. Spaghetti sauce soaked their clothing and hoop pasta stuck all over their bodies. It poured down their legs and dripped from their chests. 

Next the men took big heavy buckets of rice pudding. They lifted them and then began to pour it all over the ladies. They closed their eyes as they felt mountains of sloppy rice pudding plopping all over them. It fell from the air and landed with a splash all over the ladies. They could feel the thick sloppy mess plopping all over their bodies. 

The guys then finished them off by taking trays of tuna salad and pushing them into the women’s faces, dumping lumps of sloppy tuna, mayonnaise, pasta and sweetcorn all over their heads. They shook hands and pointed at the mess covered women still in the stocks. They could do nothing but stand there hunched over, secured in the stocks covered in mess.