Saturday 7 September 2013

Katie vs Kelly


***By Request***


Katie vs. Kelly

Katie Price and Kelly Brook had been feuding for awhile. The two genuinely hated one another and were constantly making fun of one another whenever the opportunity arose. The two argued and the whole thing was quite public. It was not really over anything. It was just something to do, because neither really had much of a career to speak of except for making headlines in the tabloids. The two were always reading their own headlines. The situation became worse and worse. Kelly also had issues with her ex talking about her in the press as well. Mr. G. decided to be the peace maker and invite these two onto his show to try and settle some of their differences. Both of them agreed. At first glance, it was surprising,  but upon reflection, these two would do just about anything to have their faces in the limelight. The chance to publicly humiliate the other on such a grand stage was an opportunity that neither one wanted to miss. The two would do just about anything to get one over on the other. The two agreed that they would cooperate within the confines of the show and would not attack each other outside of what was planned. Little did they know that the result of the show would be embarrassment for them both. The main idea of the episode was that they both deserved to be punished for their actions.


The two prima donnas proved to be incredibly high maintenance behind the scenes, particularly Katie. She managed to annoy everyone backstage with her diva like antics. They were all going to enjoy seeing her getting it, if it happened. Both of them really deserved it in their own way. Anyone who knew them would have agreed. Both of them were going to be thrilled to meet Mr. G. and to be on television. Adverts ran for the show for the week. A lot of people in their circle were going to be watching. Lots of image conscious superficial self absorbed people would be watching. They all thought it was hilarious.  Because, the people they hung out with were so disingenuous and vein, losing could really effect their standing in their social group. They were not thinking about that however.


Mr. G. came in and started the show. “Today we have a very special show. It comes right from the pages of the gossip magazines right to our show. A real life celebrity rivalry come to its natural fruition. In every day life we would not get the opportunity to get one over on a rival this way, but these two ladies are going to get the chance today to really get one over on their rival. It might get bitchy. Not catfights allowed though today, ladies,” he teased. “I have to tell you, this rivalry is so intense that we have to keep these two separated. We do not condone violence and  none of that will be happening today. Just messiness and embarrassment for one or both of these ladies. It will get dirty, it will get personal. Today it is Katie Price vs. Kelly Brook. No holds barred.”


Some music played and both ladies were welcomed. They walked in from opposite sides of the stage and glared at one another. They both walked to the centre of the stage where two podiums with buzzers were set up. Mr. G. had his own taller podium in the centre. When they entered they both individually made eyes at Mr. G. and shook his hand with a smile. Saying it was lovely to meet him. They did not shake one another’s hand. They took their positions.

“Ok, ladies, here is how it works,” Mr. G. said,” It is a quiz. When you know the answer buzz in. If you get the question right, your opponent loses an article of clothing. If you get it wrong you do. We will play until one of you is naked. The loser will then get the mess.” “That’s ok,” Katie said, making a face with her large lips, “ I will win anyway. I am deceptively intelligent, so I am told.” Kelly gave a funny look as if to say,” Are you serious? You are as dumb as a plank of wood.” Katie wore a red strappy  top and a white skirt. Kelly wore a blue strappy top and a black skirt.


“Ok then, here we go,” Mr. G. said. The quiz did not go well for the ladies. They did not seem to grasp the concept of the game. They just kept trying to buzz in first. Every time one did, they ended up getting the question wrong and losing an item of clothing. In short order both were left wearing only a pair of panties. It all came down to the last question. The question was asked. This time they finally understood not to buzz in if they did not know the answer. Unfortunately for them, neither knew the answer and neither of them buzzed in. They both thought hard and tried to come up with an answer but the time expired with negative buzz.


The ladies looked over at Mr. G. to see what would happen next. They assumed that because no one buzzed in, there would be another question. “No one buzzed in. Unfortunately for you ladies, what that means is that both of you will lose your knickers. That means it is a draw.” “So, that means we both stay clean then?,” Katie warbled. “Not exactly. It means you both lose, so you both will be getting the mess. Come on girls get your knickers off.” Both of their mouths fell open. The two did not mind getting their breasts out, as they had done it dozens of times before, but they were a bit more reluctant to surrender their underwear. They rolled their eyes and lowered their panties simultaneously. They each handed their dirty knickers to Mr. G. and stood on the stage wearing only their high heels. The two looked somewhat ridiculous with their oversized breasts that were too big to really be carried off on their relatively small frames. Now two fake tanned glamour girls stood on the stage totally naked. “Well, we have a draw. Join us after the break to witness what the consequences are. You are not going to want to miss this,” Mr. G. said. The show then went to break.

When the show returned, both women sat on seats that were situated over a large gunge pool. It was similar to Get Your Own Back. They glared at one another and swore and gave insults under their breath. Both blaming each other for the mess that they were about to find themselves in. “So, neither of the ladies one. That means both of them will be getting punished. To be honest girls, maybe this will teach you a lesson. You have been horrible to one another for no real reason. It is time to get over it. So here we go. Have a nice trip.”


Mr. G. yanked down two levers that controlled the seats that the women sat on. As he pulled them down, the seats pulled away from the girls. In an instant they both fell into a massive pool of green and orange gunge that lay below them. They both disappeared beneath the surface. Eventually, both of their heads emerged from the gungy drink. Their hair extensions were soaked with sloppy messy gunge. Katie ran her hands over her face and hair. Slicking her hair back. Kelly shook her head around. Their layers of thick makeup were smeared across their cheeks. Their thick black eyeliner ran, but most remained. Their massive boobs jiggled and floated to the surface as they swam naked side by side in the pool of gunge. They bounced around dripping in gunge, splashing one another playfully.


They grabbed one another by the arms and tumbled around in the mess. It was not a catfight. It was much more good natured. As they came up to the surface again, a deluge of pink gunge and gummy worms fell from above and fell all over them. The mess poured down over their heads. Their whole bodies soaked with gunge already, getting covered in another layer of mess. “Ugh, I can feel it on my minge,” Katie shouted. Gummy worms stuck to their faces. Kelly laughed and shook her head. Katie looked more annoyed. She was much more of a spoiled diva.

As they stepped forward and tried to get out, a barrage of pies came flinging at them. The two were hit with pie after pie. The pies smashed off their faces and off their large breasts. The pies left thick cream everywhere they hit. Pie plates stuck to their bodies initially before falling off when hit by more pies. They both were bowled over by the force and speed of the pies. They fell over on another and fell backwards with a splash into the gunge pool, falling on their bottoms.  They screeched and squealed.


Their heads soon emerged from the gunge pool again. Kelly was smiling and laughing. Katie’s face had had so much work done to it that her face was always in one permanent expression. “We must look like a pair of clowns,” Katie said.  “And that’s just the make up,” Kelly joked. The two helped each other up to their feet.

“Well everyone, I hope that we all enjoyed the show. Hopefully these two will kiss and make up, but only time will tell. Thank you to them for appearing on the show and for being such good sports. The two tried to grab Mr. G. from behind. They grabbed his arms and pulled him halfway into the gunge pool getting him messy.

As the credits rolled. The two laughed and were helped from the gunge. They each gave Mr. G. a gungey hug before trotting off backstage to have lovely warm showers. “Actually, that felt quite nice, quite sensual,” the ladies later admitted. Surprisingly, the day did have some effect and the girls called a truce afterwards.

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