Tuesday 5 June 2012

Kate Middleton takes the throne

Kate Middleton takes the throne




Somehow Mr. G. had managed to secure what would be considered by some as the ultimate guest. That guest was Kate Middleton. No one could believe that she actually agreed to appear on the show. She would be a dream guest on anyone’s show , but on Let Her Have It, she was probably the person that people wanted to see appear more than anyone else. No one could believe that someone in her position would allow herself to be covered in mess on national television. The thought of seeing Kate Middleton covered in mess was something that would have to be seen. Everybody would want to see this happen. Everyone that that it was a ruse. No one actually believed that Kate Middleton would actually appear on the show. There were rumours that it could be a look alike or an actress who would turn up. Some believed that it was just a publicity stunt. The producers of the show encouraged the intrigue and the speculation. All of it was good for the show. The buzz around the show was never more hot. Few actually believed Kate Middleton would actually be there. It would not be the first time that a celebrity pulled out of a commitment like this at the last minute after having agreed well in advance. As for Kate, she just felt that the whole thing was pretty hilarious. She felt that it would be a way to show the whole world that she was not a stuck up snob and did not feel like she was better than everyone else. People would be laughing with her. She could prove that she was down to earth. She felt that she was just a normal woman and saw this as a chance to demonstrate that. How her in laws were going to feel about the whole thing was another matter entirely. They would not find what Kate was about to take part in appropriate at all.



No one believed that this was going to happen, but much to everyone’s surprise, when the day of the show arrived, Kate Middleton was there with a huge smile on her face ready to take part. She made it clear to the producers of the show that she did not want them to take it easy on her because of who she was. She wanted them to Let Her Have It, just as if she was anyone else. She was secretly a fan of the show and was actually thrilled to get the chance to be the show. She insisted that she be treated the same as everyone else. She might live to regret that. She was a bit nervous backstage, but she had been in situations before where the eyes of the whole world were on her and she had done ok. Mind you, none of them had been anything like this. She was ready to have a laugh though and to show that she did not take herself too seriously. The excitement and the buzz in the air was electric, even more than usual. There was always an air of tension when someone was about to get messed, but this was heightened to even beyond that. Kate Middleton was about to get messed and everyone was going to get to sit back and enjoy it. It would be a night that everyone would remember for a long, long time to come.



The studio was decked out like a palace and had lots of British flags and crowns everywhere. The whole stage was decorated in this style. There was red and blue velvet everywhere. The audience was buzzing with excitement. This was going to be a huge show. The whole world would probably being seeing what was going to happen. The show opened and Mr. G. made his entrance to a huge round of applause. He waived, bowed and smiled as he took his place on stage. “Thank you, everyone and welcome to a very special, royal edition of Let Her Have It. It is a very special night tonight. We have a very special guest. It is a huge deal for everyone and we want to thank this certain special someone so much for coming to our humble show. You know, I can’t hardly believe it myself. It is hard to believe it, but we have that very special lady here in the studio tonight. She is one of the most famous and iconic people in the world. The whole world watched as she was married. Tonight, the world will watch as something else happens to her. Something very different indeed. We are so pleased to have her hear tonight. Please, join me in welcoming, the one and only, Kate Middleton,” Mr. G. said. The audience thundered with applause. Mr. G. held his arm out and motioned to the other side of the stage.



Kate entered the studio smiling and waiving. She was already blushing bright red. Her sexy smile beamed across her face. She wore a black and grey dress that showed off a lot of her sexy leg. Otherwise, it was a relatively conservative dress. Her hair was down. She crossed the stage and shook Mr. G.’s hand She then joined him on the couches for a chat. They sat opposite one another. She smiled and waived at the audience and waited for their applause to die down. She crossed her long sexy legs as she sat down. She gave Mr. G. a hug. She smiled and laughed. Eventually, the thunder of applause stopped, although it was prolonged and very loud.



“Kate Middleton, a very warm welcome. It is truly an honour to have you here with us tonight,” Mr. G. said. “It is honour to be here, thanks for having me.” “I’ll tell you what, when we said that you were going to be here tonight, no one believed us. I could hardly believe it myself, but here you are live and in the flesh.” “Well yes, it is a pleasure to be here. I am actually quite a big fan of wet and messy showing. I have been watching it since I was a little girl and always wished that it happened to me.” “Well, you’ve come to the right place,” Mr. G. said with a laugh. Kate laughed. “Yeah, I know,” Kate replied. “I also would like the mention that there are a lot of preconceived notions about you, but I have to say, everyone backstage have commented that you are one of the nicest people that they have ever met doing the show.” “Thank you,” Kate replied humbly. “I also want to show everyone that I am just a normal girl, at the end of the day. I think that this is going to be a lot of fun. I just want to have a laugh,” she explained. “I think it will be so much fun.” “I think that we all definitely will have fun. I have to ask though, what do you think that the reaction back home will be when they see this?,” Mr. G. asked. “You know, I never thought of that, honestly. Most of them don’t really watch this type of thing, so they probably won’t see it. I hope. If they do they will not be too amused I don’t think, but hey, what’s the big deal,” Kate explained. “I suppose that it would be awkward and embarrassing in a way.” “Well, I have had one or two embarrassing moments in my past, that is for sure,” Kate replied. “Really, what is your most embarrassing moment then?,” Mr. G. asked. “Oh god, do I really have to tell this story,” Kate said laughing and blushing. “We are all friends here, don’t be shy,” Mr. G. teased. “ I am going to regret this, I can tell,” Kate said. “What happened was I had to use a public toilet once. I hate using public toilets, but I really had to go, so I didn’t have a choice, really. So I went and, not being rude, it was massive. Keep in mind there were a load of people in the queue waiting behind me. Anyway, I flushed but it would not flush. I tied again and then the water started rising. It came higher and higher until it overflowed onto the floor. Of course, I am panicking. I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t sneak off because there was a line of people waiting behind me. Plus I am a celebrity. I wished I wasn’t at that moment. Everyone would know what I did. The bathroom was a total mess. It was so embarrassing,” she laughed at herself.



“Actually, Kate, mentioning that, your story actually is keeping with our theme of the day. We have something special prepared you today. It is a very special seat that is perfect for a member of the royal family. You are going to feel very comfortable in it. It is the best seat in the house,” Mr. G. said. “Ok, sounds good,” Kate replied with a giggle. With that a royal fanfare began to play. The curtains opened and through the curtains came the Giant Flush. This time though, it was decorated in all sorts of velvet, gold and all sorts of royal looking decorations. When Kate saw it she blushed and roared with laughter. She pointed at it and laughed. “Basically,” Mr. G. said,” We have arranged a royal throne for you this evening, Kate.” “ Yes I see. Basically, the world is going to witness me sitting on the throne,” Kate said with a laugh. “I believe that is a good way to put it yes,” Mr. G. replied. “So I gather that you would like me to sit down on the throne,” she asked. “Will you please?,” Mr. G. said. Kate gave a sarcastic look but then stood up and said,” Sure, that is what I am here for, after all.” Kate stood up and adjusted her dress. She followed Mr. G. over to the giant flush. She took his hand as he helped her lower her bottom onto the toilet below. She moved her bottom into position , wrapping herself around the porcelain toilet seat below. She looked up at the larger toilet bowl above and laughed.



Mr. G. then took a plunger that was stood by the toilet. “Your sceptre, your majesty,” he said. “I could have used this a few months ago,” Kate kidded, referring to the story that she had told earlier in the evening. She took the plunger and held it in her hand. “Are you comfortable sitting on the throne?,” Mr. G. teased. “Oh yes, it feels just elegant to be sitting here on the throne,” she jokingly replied. “I have to say, it really suits you,” Mr. G. said. “I was always told I was born to sit on the throne,” Kate joked. The fact that the Duchess of Cambridge was now sitting on a toilet, with a giant toilet bowl situated above her head was something that the audience were just loving. Everyone thought that the situation was hilarious. Never mind, what was about to happen to Kate in a few short minutes. Everyone knew that the toilet would soon flush and a large amount of brown gunge would be getting poured down on the Duchess of Cambridge. This was going to be a moment to remember. Kate sat on the throne contemplating what was about to happen.



“So Kate, I don’t think that I need to explain what is going to happen do I?,” Mr. G. said. “No, I don’t think so. I have seen the giant flush before. I know how it works. Don’t worry,” she replied. Kate looked up and pointed up. “I am going to get it,” she mouthed. Mr. G. walked over to the giant flusher. “Ok, Kate, we are going to count down. On the count of three, the toilet will be flushed and then the magic happens,” Mr. G. said. “Are you ready Kate?,” he asked. Kate adjusted her dress and repositioned her body, perched on the toilet. She got herself ready. “I think that I am ready now,” she said with a smile. “Ok everyone, here we go. Get ready for what you are about to witness. Here we go,”



Everyone started to count down. “3...2...1” Mr. G. pulled the flusher down. Kate screwed up her face She shut her eyes. Every muscle in her body contracted. She blushed bright red. She braced herself for what was about to hit her. When the count down ended, Mr. G. pulled down on the giant flusher. The usual Giant Flush sounds then began. The sounds of farting and someone using the bathroom were heard, much to Kate’s amusement. This was followed by the sounds of a toilet flushing, Then there was a whoosh sound. Then sloppy brown gunge began to fall from the whole in the giant toilet seat that Kate sat under. It fell with a plopping sound. The first bit of brown gunge fell through the bowl. It was a relatively small amount at first. The first bit were a few brown globs of gunge that fell from above. They fell through the air and landed directly on the Duchess’ face. It fell in a long brown blob onto Kate’s forehead, sticking to her face, across part of her eyebrow and down her nose. It stuck in place on her face and dangled across her nose. Several more lumps of gunge fell from above landing on Kate’s face. They splattered across her mouth and cheeks. Her hair now getting splattered in brown muck. More fell, hitting her face and tumbling down her dress, sticking to her body.



The brown muck fell irregularly down onto Kate. Her knees and calves were hit with blobs of the brown gunge. She could feel the thick sloppy mess against her long legs. She held her hands out in front of her, catching some of the mess as it fell. She raised her shoulders. She laughed as it happened. Then suddenly the more watery, smoother gunge began to plop down on her. It poured down on her through the toilet seat above, straight down onto her face. The speed of the gunge picked up some now as well. The brown gunge poured down Kate’s face. She closed her eyes as her entire face and most of her head was showered in brown gunge. Gunge poured down the front of her dress, trashing the expensive but delicate material that it was made of. Her dress clung to her body. The brown muck overwhelmed her clothes. Her whole front was now dripping in brown mess. More poured down onto her lap and all over her legs. Some of the brown sloppy muck fell straight onto her thighs and bent knees. Her calves dripping in muck. Brown mess dripped down to her ankles and all over her expensive high heeled shoes. Brown muck was now everywhere. The velvet material and golden bits around the throne were stained with mucky brown splatter. The toilet that Kate sat on was also almost totally covered in the mucky brown sludge. The crowd roared with laughter as they watched the giant toilet getting flushed on one of the most famous people in the world.



Kate laughed at herself as she was flushed upon. Finally the gunge stopped as the last few thick bits fell from above and trickled down onto Kate below. Everyone gave her a huge round of applause as the gunge slowed to a stop. Kate took her hands and ran them over her face, wiping some of the brown mess from her eyes. She gritted her teeth as she cleaned some of the mess away. She bit her lip and laughed. She gave herself a messy clap. The globs of brown muck still stuck where they had been originally on Kate’s face. Her large white teeth and her eyes gleamed out of her now brown slop covered face. Her legs and dress slathered in brown gunge. She smiled and laughed. She could feel the thick sloppy mess all over her.



Mr. G. walked over to Kate. He bowed. “The throne defiantly suits you, your majesty,” he joked. “I think it is overflowing again,” Kate joked. She blushed and laughed. “Seriously though, how was that?,” he asked. “It was great, honestly. That was so much fun. It’s a badge of honour. It is so cool. It feels really good as well. I just love it.” “I wonder if this will start a new fashion trend,” Mr. G. joked. “I wouldn’t go that far. Probably not my best look,” Kate said. “How do I look,” she asked, posing in the mess on the toilet. “You never looked better,” Mr. G. replied. “That is what I would call a royal flush,” Kate joked. She then gave a funny face to indicate that she was aware of how corny that must have sounded. “Anyway, once again. I can not thank you enough. You have been so kind and such a good sport. And you look great covered in sloppy brown muck as well.” Kate leaned over and shook his hand. She then tried to pull him in closer. She rubbed her muck covered hands across the suit that he was wearing. He pulled away and laughed.



Kate smiled and laughed as the crowd applauded her. She was still covered in thick brown mess. She waived as the show ended. Slow motion replays were shown of the flushing. Most of the papers around the world the next day led with stories with titles such as “The duchess on the throne” and “Kate gets the royal flush”. She had a lot of explaining to do back at home, but no one could be too mad. It was just a bit of fun. All in all, Kate had a lot of fun and certainly proved that she was down to earth.

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