Saturday 21 May 2011

Tina O'Brien gets dirty

Tina O’Brien

Tina O’Brien had been gunged once for charity. Unfortunately, she had gone to great lengths to make sure that there was no pictures of that event and that it would be forgotten or erased from public memory. It was as if it had never happen. Unfortunately what was going to happen to Tina on this day would be recorded for posterity. She would never be able to live down what would happen on this day. She had managed for all these years to avoid the mess, but things were about to change. This day was total set up on Tina by the entire television community. It was part of the entertainment’s semi- annual fund raising charity event. In order to raise money for charity, all of the actors who had been on the three major British soaps got to vote for the person who had been on any of these soaps who they would most like to see covered in mess. The results would be read and the loser would receive their prize at the end of the British Soap Awards. When Tina heard about this vote, she was not very worried about it. When she was asked to attend the special televised results special, she began to get very nervous. She had seen what had happened to her friend and co star Samia Ghadie at a similar awards show a few months earlier. She also knew that since Samia had already been messed, it would be unlikely that she would be getting messed up again. She had a funny feeling that a lot of the people who would have voted for Samia would have shifted their votes to her. She had been on Coronation Street for years and had made a lot of friends and enemies, so she thought she may have quite a few votes.

On the special the three people who had garnered the most votes were gathered on stage. In the audience was the entire British Soap world. The show went on as usual. At the end of the show, the three nominees were asked to join the host on stage. Tina was joined by Helen Flanagan and Jennifer Metcalfe. Tina wore a simple purple t shirt and jeans in case she would be the one who would be getting messed up. Jennifer looked confident if not arrogant. Helen looked pissed off to be there. Tina looked the most nervous. She still did not allow herself to believe that she may be the one to win this vote. Her hair was back in a ponytail, the way that she wore it the majority of the time. As she stood on stage, however, her former tv family gathered at the foot of the stage. The actresses who played her mother, Gail, her grandmother Audrey, her brother David and most embarrassingly her former boyfriend Jason. Unfortunately for Tina, the role of Jason had been played by former real life partner Ryan Thomas. He had dumped her in real life. Now, Tina was afraid, there looked like there was a good chance that he was going to get to “dump” her in another way in front of the world. If she lost this vote, he was going to get to totally humiliate her on national television. She began to think that what was going to happen was an inevitability. She didn’t understand how she could have received the most votes, but she steadied herself and waited to hear the results.

The host came to the microphone and explained that there had been a vote to see who the soap world wanted to get messy and the actresses on stage were the three top vote getters. He explained that one of these three ladies received the most votes and as a result, would be getting covered in mess tonight, in front of the entire UK soap world. Tina looked to the side of the stage, looking at her television family. They smirked and waived at her sarcastically. “I better prepare myself for the worst,” she thought to herself. “Still, the other two are pretty attractive women. There is a real chance that one of them might get more votes than me.” The host then read out Tina, Helen and Jennifer’s names. The spotlight shined on each of them as their names were read out. The crowd cheered for each one. Then it came time for the person who received the most votes to be announced. “The person who has received the most votes and will be getting messy here tonight…Tina O’Brien.” he said. The crowd erupted in cheers and applause. Tina’s co stars at the foot of the stage celebrated together. She looked over at them. They mouthed the words,” You’re going to get it.” Tina blushed a little. She crossed her army and shook her head, looking at the ground. She flared her nostrils in anger. She really felt as if she had been set up. A very relieved Jennifer and Helen left the stage as quickly as they possibly could. They wanted to stay as far away from what was about to happen as possible. Tina stood in the centre of the stage, by herself, dumbfounded. She could hardly believe the events that were transpiring.

“So Tina,” the host said,” Any thoughts or comments?” “I am literally speechless,” she said,” I really can not believe this. Please be nice. Do I really have to do this?” “I am afraid that the answer is a yes to that. There is no escape. Evidently, a lot of people want to see this happen.” “Gee, thanks a lot,” she said sarcastically,” I feel so special. Please don’t do this,” Tina pleaded. The crowd and her fellow actors now began to chant Gunge, gunge, gunge. She blew a deep breath. She looked to the side again. Her co stars were coming on stage. They were laughing and joking together, clearly discussing what was about to happen to her. She could not imagine what they would possibly have in store for her. “Ladies and gentlemen,” the host said,” Should we nail her?” The crowd cheered it’s approval. “Sorry Tina,” he said.

Tina looked again to the side and saw her co-stars standing in a queue, just waiting to do unspeakable things to her. She really had no idea what they might have coming her way. As all of this was happening various items were being brought out onto stage. Wheeled out next to Tina was a large trash bin. It was like a garbage can only slightly larger. Tina’s eyes widened. “It’s time to trash Tina,” the host said. He gave Tina a hand as she was made to get into the large trash can. When she put her foot in, she grimaced as she realized that the bin was already half filled with disgusting garbage. She gave a disgusted look and waived her hand in front of her nose to indicate how much it stunk. Her nose curled up as her foot sunk into the garbage. She then lifted her other leg and lowered it into the trash bin. She grimaced as she turned around to face the audience. Her pants now soaked in garbage water. She was up to her waste in other people’s garbage already and she knew that it had not even started yet. “Are you comfortable in thee?,” the host asked. “Does it matter?,” Tina replied sarcastically. She put her hands over the side of the can and leaned forward slightly.
“Ok then, Tina, we have a queue of people here who are ready to nail you. We wouldn’t want to disappoint. I will remind you that there are thousands watching in their homes on television and probably recording right now. First we would like to welcome Helen Worth. Helen of course plays Gail Platt on Coronation Street. She played Tina’s tv mother for a number of years. Let’s welcome her.” The audience cheered as Helen came forward, smiling and waiving. “Now, Helen,” the host said,” In the many years of working with Tina, have you ever wanted to do this.” “God, yes. She is quite a stroppy little cow at times. I am going to enjoy every minute of this. Sorry, honey,” she said. “Thanks a lot,” Tina shrugged. “So, Helen, I think we will start with a nice pie. We are going to give you the honour of taking a lovely, sloppy, creamy pie and driving it right into your former tv daughter’s face. How does that sound?” “Like heaven,” she replied,” A dream come true.” Everyone, including Tina laughed. A large banana cream pie was brought out placed in Helen’s hand. She held it with both hands in front of her, displaying it for the audience to see. The crowd cheered. She winked her eyes and smiled. She then approached Tina. Tina begged,” Please, Helen, no,” she pleaded,” Please don’t do this.” She shook her hands in front of her. As Helen approached she closed her eyes and squinched up her face awaiting the impact. Her back was bent slightly as her neck extended forward. Helen did not have mercy on the young lady she had known for over a decade. She pulled backwards, aiming the creamy pie directly at Tina’s awaiting face. She pulled forward and thrust the pie forward directly into Tina’s awaiting face. The thud of impact could be heard by everyone, followed by a booming cheer and laughter. The pie was extra sloppy and creamy with layers of banana pie filling and cool whip like cream. Tina turned red with embarrassment as Helen pushed the pie into her face. She did not need to make much effort in order to completely cream Tina. Her face was instantly engulfed in inches of the creamy mess. Helen twisted the pie around for a minute as she relished the feeling of pieing her tv daughter. Tina could only stand there with her hands behind her back and take the pie as it was delivered in her face. Helen let go of the pie tin. The pie was so thick and creamy that it stuck to Tina’s face on it’s own. As Helen stepped away, Tina pulled the pie tin from her face. When she removed it, revealed was Tina’s distinctive facial features dripping with a combination of whipped cream and yellow banana pie filling. She gave a distressed look. A glob of the pie filling and crust fell away from her forehead and temple into the garbage can below her. She took her fingers and scooped bits of the mess from her eyes. She licked her lips and then took her fingers and scooped more mess away from her forehead and fringe. After only one pie, Tina had been totally creamed. More blobs of the glop fell from her mouth. Her entire head was a conglomeration of sloppy messy pie.

“Helen, seemed to enjoy that so much, let’s try it again,” the host said. Helen made a silly smile and nodded her head in approvement. “No!”, Tina screamed in a vain protests. Helen was handed a second pie. This one was filled with strawberry pie filling and covered in lots of whipped cream as well. As Helen approached, she teased Tina with pie. “MMM, yummy,” she said,” All for you, Tina.” Tina’s face scowled with annoyance. Helen came forward towards Tina. As she leaned forward Tina screamed. In that instant, Helen thrust the pie straight into Tina’s face. It landed with a splat. As a result, Tina was greeted with a mouthful of thick strawberry pie filling, full of huge berries. When Helen removed the tin, Tina gasped for breath as a mouthful of the pie fell from Tina’s mouth to the ground. Tina’s face was now covered in mounds of thick red gooey strawberry pie filling along with thick cream. Mounds of the red mess stuck to her cheeks, nose and fringe. Other bits of the pie fell from her face onto the ground and into the garbage can that she stood in. Bits of cake and strawberry blew form her nostrils as she breathed out. She did not need to wipe her eyes this time, as a lot of the thick mess fell from her face on its own accord. Helen was then given a third pie. The one was a pumpkin and cream pie. It was filled with brownish orange pumpkin pie filled and topped up with lots of squirty cream. Helen was handed this one. Tina just sat there this time and did not bother to protest. Helen took the pie this time and raised it over Tina’s head. Tina closed her eyes and awaited what was about to happen. This time, Helen raised the pie high and tipped it downward, inches above Tina’s head. She then pushed it down onto the top of Tina’s head. She smashed it downwards onto Tina’s head. The pie smashed downward, sending the brownish pumpkin and cream cascading down the sides of Tina’s face and then down her forehead and nose. She left the tin where it was, making it appear that Tina was wearing a pie hat. She stepped back and admired her work. Tina stood glaring at her with her hands on her hips. Helen gave her a thumb’s up. “Looking good,” she said. Tina looked ridiculous, standing in a trash can with s pie tin stuck on the top of her head with pumpkin pie dripping down her face. She screwed up her lips and licked her teeth as Helen pointed and laughed at her.

The next person in the queue was Sue Nicholls. Sue played Tina’s grandmother, Audrey Roberts on Coronation Street. She stepped forwards, smiling and laughing at Tina. “Hi Sue,” the host said,” Welcome. First of all, do you have any qualms at all about doing this to the young lady who used to play your granddaughter?,” “Not at all,” she laughed,” Sorry deary. Seriously, I am going to really enjoy this. This is a chance of a lifetime. I am really looking forward to really getting her good. Especially at my age. It is all good fun. To get a chance to do this to a young lady like Tina.” “Thanks a lot gran,” Tina muttered sarcastically. Sue was then presented with a large bucket of apple sauce. Tina could not believe that this was happening. Someone who played her grandmother was about to pour apple sauce all over her. She, again had known Sue for years. She never in her wildest dreams thought that Sue would be pouring food over head one day. Sue took the bucket and walked behind her. She held the bucket to the side and posed with it next to Tina. She then slowly raised the bucket, as it was very heavy. Tina could only look forward, but she could feel the bucket getting closer and closer. Sue slowly started pouring the apple sauce over Tina’s ponytail. She then brought it forward pouring the viscous like apple sauce down onto Tina’s hair and then down her face. The applesauce coated and matted her hair. It stuck all over her fringe and then fell down her face. Tina closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as the cold, sloppy apple sauce now fell over her face. It dripped in globs down her face. She blew bits out with her mouth as the apple sauce washed down her face. Tina had only felt something like this once before and it had been in a very intimate situation. Sue poured the applesauce down onto Tina, down her sexy neck now. It flowed down her chest and body. The run off started to collect in the garbage can as well. Tina splashed her hands in the applesauce that collected in the garbage water.
Sue was then handed a bucket filled with banana puree. The bucket was even heavier than the one with the applesauce. It was filled with thick, custard like banana pudding filled with banana slices. Sue’s eyes lit up to get the chance to heap this mess on top of an already filthy Tina. She took the bucket over to Tina and flicked a bit of it at her with her finger. Tina laughed sarcastically. Sue then lifted the bucket and started to pour. She took no mercy on Tina. She tried to pour it as slowly as she possibly could, so she could enjoy every second. She slowly poured the pudding down over Tina. She started pouring it down over Tina’s face. Slices of banana started falling in the mess down her face. She closed her eyes as Sue directed the mess down over her face. It seemed to go on for hours to Tina. It seemed as if it would never stop. This woman who was triple her age, carefully pouring slop all over her body. The banana puree continued to pour down Tina’s beautiful face. It covered her neck and started to pour down her body. Her t-shirt was now splodged in the yellowy substance. It fell down her back as well and down to her bottom. Her entire head was covered in the yellow mess and nearly all of her from the waist up was covered. Sue left the bucket on Tina’s head. She too stepped back and took a moment to enjoy what she had just done. After a minute, Tina was allowed to remove the bucket. She was smothered in mess already and there were still two people left in the line.

Jack Shepherd was the next to come. Jack had played Tina’s brother David Platt on Coronation Street. He walked up the stage with his famous sarcastic smiled. Tina just lowered her eyes and frowned. He shook his fists in the air and smiled, pointing at the crowd and at Tina. The host welcomed Jack. “So, Jack, what can we say.” “This is so great,” he said,” I never dared to dream that this would ever happen. Tina is like a sister to me, but I can not wait to get my own back. She used to tease me when I was a lad. Now I get to do this. This is brilliant. I think everyone should have a go. I’m loving it.” Jack was handed another large bucket. “Mushy peas,” he said to the audience, ”Lovely.” Tina’s eyes widened. She began to beg again. “Oh yes,” Jack said,” You always looked good in green I think.” Jack relished in Tina’s humiliation. He laughed as she begged. He then threw some of the mushy peas at her from the bucket. He pushed the bucket forward, sending about a quarter of the mushy bright green mess into Tina’s face and front. Her mouth fell open, as the peas dripped down her body. He then went around her and started pouring the mushy peas over Tina. The crowd roared as the thick green mess slowly poured down Tina O’Brien’s face. She closed her eyes as he poured. She almost gagged several times from the smell of the mushy peas. As he poured, she put her hands to her head and pushed backwards, scraping some of the green mess from her hair and face. The mushy peas were now everywhere, dripping in layers down her mouth and eyes. Bits stuck to her eye lashes and nose. She put her hand on her neck and rubbed the mushy peas down her neck. Jack then took the rest of the mushy peas and brought them a bit lower. He pulled open the back of Tina’s trousers slightly and slowly poured what he could down inside, all over her underwear and rear end. She could feel it down her legs and inside her panties. She could even feel it between her legs on her private parts.

Jack was then handed yet another bucket. This one contained leftover spaghetti. It was strands of spaghetti with loads of sauce and meat. It was explained that it was uneaten food from a local restaurant, but it would now be going to good use. Other people’s uneaten dinners would now be “served” to Tina O’Brien. “Spaghetti”, Jack said in a funny voice. He danced up to Tina. Tina braced herself, looking anxious. Jack teased her by leaning over and pretending to take a rest. He then faked pouring the spaghetti on her two or three times to see her flinch. She looked very annoyed with him as he pointed and laughed. “Looks like she really wants this,” he said. The spaghetti was truly disgusting. It must have been left to rot for several days. It stunk to high heaven and looked revolting. Tina brace herself as gigantic clumps of the spaghetti fell onto her head. There were long strands covered in spaghetti sauce, She stuck her tongue out and mouthed the word gross as the spaghetti was poured on her. Long strands hung from her nose and hair. A gigantic clump fell down her neck and onto her breasts. The saucy noodles continued falling down her. Large amounts slithered their way down her face and body, before gravity sent them into the garbage can below. The top of her head and fringe were covered with the spaghetti. Strands dangled from the top of her head and her nose. She breathed out and gave Jack an angry look as he backed away, taunting her.

The final person left was Ryan Thomas. Ryan had acted with Tina on Coronation Street and had been her real life boyfriend. He walked on stage, smiling. “So, Ryan,” the host said,” We hear that you dumped Tina.” “Yeah I dumped her,” he said smiling slightly,” I just didn’t fancy her any more” Ryan had publicly dumped and humiliated Tina before and he was going to get another chance. “Ryan, you seem like a bit of a jerk actually,” the host said,” I suppose I am,” he replied. Tina could not even look at him. He had embarrassed her so many times before. Ryan was so simpleminded and self centred that he had no clue what an idiot he really was. “This is going to be great though. It’s a bit of fun isn’t it. Come on lads, who would not want to do this to their ex. Get in there. I am going to enjoy every minute of this. I dumped her before and tonight I will “dump” her again.” Ryan was then presented with a large trash can that was identical to the one that Tina was stood in. This trash can was full of trash. It was a mixture of manure, leftover food and real garbage. Ryan spurred the audience on as they started chanting trash, trash , trash. Ryan lifted the trash can. Tina looked dejected. She closed her eyes and screwed her face up. A million flash bulbs seemed to go off as Ryan lifted the bucket up and started to trash his former girlfriend. The garbage poured down on Tina as Ryan carefully directed the flow of rubbish all over his ex’s body. The garbage poured down on her. Her head flew forward with the first wave of trash. Bits of rotten fruit, banana peels, and every other manner of trash poured down onto Tina. It was all mashed together in a thick conglomeration of slop. She squealed as the trash covered her. The bits stuck to the mess that was already all over her. The contents of the garbage was all tinged with a brownish black colour. The trash appeared to be real. There even appeared to worms crawling around in the bottom. When the can was empty, Tina stood, smeared in rubbish, bits of food and trash stuck everywhere. She was then asked to step out of the can she stood in. She did so. Ryan was then told that he could lift pour the contents collected in that can over his former girlfriend. He smiled and shook the host’s hand. Tina braced herself as he lifted the can. In a moment all of the collected run off from what had been poured onto her now pour onto her again. It was all mixed together in a revolting mixture. It plopped down onto her head and fell everywhere. Bits hit her and then fell onto the floor. Ryan pumped his fist and celebrated. He then left the stage.

Tina was left alone on the stage covered in mess. The host shook her hand. She just stood there with an annoyed look on her face, dripping in mess. The crowd applauded her and she was lead off stage, dripping slop as she went along. Tina could not believe what had happened. Or that her ex boyfriend had got to humiliate her again. She could just imagine what her new colleagues at Waterloo Road would be saying next week.

2 comments:

  1. POOR TINA! RYAN SOUNDS LIKE A REAL JERK!!!!

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  2. Yeah, that guy is a jerk for what he did in real life. She quit the show to have his baby. He then encouraged her not to come back on the show and then he dumped her. Her is a jerk in my book.

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